I would like to first express my gratitude for having the tools and a healthy body to attend zoom university and a job. These are tough times, and I know I’m lucky to be making it this far.
If this pandemic taught me anything, it would be: “There is no rush”. I’m not one for silver linings, but when the world came to a halt, the only response was to do the same.
In February, I was leaving for my semester abroad. Of course, there were only so many times the trip could have been delayed until it was cancelled all together. On top of the chaotic emotions of changing a yearlong plan in the making, I had to quickly deal with recovering the lost semester. It was too late into the winter semester to pick up any courses! My biggest concern was not graduating with my cohort. I had this idealistic view of posing with my SASAH and MIT pals, throwing up our caps (or something) ... To catch up with my cohort again, I picked up four summer school courses and a remote part time job. Even with those summer classes checked off my module and 365 days later, the possibility of having this ceremony in person is still far-fetched. Now, none of us will be graduating together, and I wonder why I pressed myself in the present in hopes of achieving a hypothetical future. Indeed, the more I aimed to follow plans and expectations, the farther away they became.
On a brighter note, summer school gave me a distraction and purpose to the never-ending quarantine and (unknowingly) prepared me for the semesters to come. I participated more in Zoom classes than the past three years of my undergrad combined. The trick? Turn off gallery view! That way, I was only talking to myself or maybe the professor if their profile was pinned. This both amplified the feeling of missing the class-room vibe, while instilling a new confidence in me. Since I had the practice in the summer, the transition to the Fall 202 semester wasn’t too stressful. Hopefully going forward in academia, minimized-screen Zoom university has given me the tools to speak in public. My goal was to raise my little yellow emoji hand just once a class. Even if no one called on me, I was still proud of trying.
Remember, you are smart! You have something important to say, and I promise someone will listen. If no one listens, at least you put yourself out there. Doing it once is the hardest part. You’ve done it once; you can do it again.
Going into the last semester of my undergrad, I had enough credits to graduate with my cohort. (As much as it feels like the pandemic was throwing curveballs at only my life, it was throwing curveballs at everyone else’s, too. Social media didn’t help either…with everyone posting their new jobs on LinkedIn or fun backyard jams on Instagram, it was hard to remember that everyone’s life paused one way or another.) Even though I was back on track–ready for that iconic grad photo–didn’t mean everyone else’s lives were still going at a normal pace.
These life pauses are still very important, and remind us to slow down. My best friend was studying all semester for her LSAT. A few weeks before her test, she postponed it for another year. She told me that the studying was putting so much extra stress (on top of pandemic anxiety and online school) that the rush wasn’t worth it. She, too, had this idealistic scenario of starting law school at 22 years old. Her change of mind was noted when she said “grad school at 22 or 23, it doesn’t make a difference. What is 365 days going to do?” Yeah, what is 365 days going to do! Whether trying to participate at least once a class, or getting a part-time job to regroup for another year, the most anyone could ask of themselves is to try their best.
This year proved that the world could stop on a dime. Everyone’s life is off track a little.
So seriously, what’s the rush?
